Self love – and letting go of identities

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Self love is a much talked subject in personal development and/or spiritual circles. ‘You cannot love another until you truly love yourself’ as they say. Some people may argue this – a parent might say ‘I love my children to death, even though I don’t necessarily love myself’. And I think it’s true that we can feel love for others in this way. However, this kind of love will always come with conditions – ie expectations of how the other must behave. A parent may say they love their child, but if their child chooses to pursue a different career than what the parent wants, the love could turn into anger. A spouse may say they love their husband/wife – but if the husband/wife leaves, the love can turn into hate.
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Charging for spiritual/healing therapies etc – what should happen?

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There seems to be a bit of divided opinion amongst people as to whether holistic/alternative/healing practioners and also life coaches should charge for things, or at least, how much they should charge. It’s a bit of a complicated topic and I want to just share my opinions on it.

Firstly, if you are a full-time therapist of some sort, and maybe I will be some day, you need to earn your crust, and not give your services away cheaply without anything in return. That is for sure. Some people say that ‘spiritual stuff’ should be given away freely – in an ideal world, that might be more possible, but to an extent, one has to adapt to the money system that is currently in place.

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Photo credit – library.thinkquest.org via Google.
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Dealing with hassles

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I am actually trying to find some advice for myself here, somewhere within the recesses of my being. The thing is, I hate any sort of hassle. I like things to be SIMPLE and STRAIGHTFORWARD as possible. One of my major pet hates is when something that should be easy, is made unnecessarily difficult.

I am soon having to move house whilst being on benefits. I could have seriously done without this right now, and it’s made things a bit more difficult than it normally is for me moving house. Plus, signing on at the job centre again, and other stuff .. And I have an intense loathing for any sort of paperwork and red tape.

Hassles can come in many shapes and forms, anything that is annoying, time consuming, and that I feel I could do without, I consider to be a hassle. If things pile up or if I feel slightly anxious about something (ie the pending house move in this case), I can easily go into freeze mode and end up either resting, spending the whole night on Facebook, or not sure what I am doing.

I just want to be creative and do without these annoying hassles sometimes, you know? Is that bad? Whether it is or not, I know I could do with a little injection of sanity when doing the things I would rather not do.

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Above photo taken by Su Davies – a friend of my friend Katie.

And, to be fair to myself, I haven’t done too badly this month. Some things I have learnt are:

– To allow myself to feel annoyed, pissed off and stressed, and let it pass as quickly as possible.
– To live in the present as much as possible and not worry so much about the future.
– To be creative as much as I can. Take the time to do the things I love.
– Rest and relax, give myself some TLC.

Some things I haven’t quite yet learnt are:

– To accept hassles and niggles as a part of life.
– To stop procrastinating.
– To stay calm on a regular basis.

Still, I’m not perfect. I don’t know whether this is good advice, for myself, or anyone else who has the same frustrations. I would welcome any comments and/or suggestions 🙂

Andy

Diary of a job seeker/career changer – Part 1

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This is a post that I just have to do, just to record what things have been like and what thoughts I’ve been having since I lost my job – largely for my own interest but I hope you might find it interesting too 🙂

So, in case you don’t know (which is probably unlikely), I was made redundant for the second time, in March. It was a blessing in disguise because the job was becoming too much and I had lost or was losing a part of my authentic self. I had a bit of money to tie me over for a month or so .. so took some much needed time out.

I have been working in various accounts roles for a number of years – although have wanted to do something different for a while, albeit not entirely sure what. That left me in a real pickle last time I was unemployed, and it took a while for me to get back into work. Now I realise that it would be madness just to try and get a job again without doing anything else.

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Lessons and blessings from the month of May

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This month has been a bit of a trying one for various reasons, which aren’t really worth going into, however I am glad that I am still able to stay strong, and keep smiling (well occasionally haha).

So .. what things have I learnt during these times? Well, the first one is that I realise how important it is to look after myself. To listen to messages that my body is giving me. To stop and rest when I need to rest. To treat myself to something good. To go for walks. I am not the kind of person who can do lots of stuff when I’m feeling low on energy, so it has been important for me to say to myself ‘Look I cannot do any more of (whatever task) .. I surrender and trust that things will work out .. I honour my feelings’ .. etc.

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When life brings you to a halt

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It’s been programmed into western thinking that we have to do, rush, achieve, at all costs, even at the expense of our well being sometimes. It’s easy to get trapped in this form of thinking. But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we don’t get the results we want. And we do get a whole lot of frustration in the process.

A lot of people think that by hard work alone, one deserves to get rich or successful or achieve results. But life just doesn’t work like that. A whole blog post could easily be devoted to this subject alone, and I won’t expand on it now. Working hard can be good, but it’s important to strike a balance somewhere. And this can sometimes mean taking a breather and looking at the bigger picture.

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